When everything is crappy…

This morning, we had some extra special moments.  Alright, they were crappy moments.  First, I woke up to a horrible smell.  My husband, who had been up doing school, took the cat and tossed her out of the room because he claimed she had let one rip.  Maybe ten minutes later, I discovered she had not just passed gas.  She had laid a nice present on the bedspread.  Awesome.

Well, we moved on fairly smoothly.  A quick pick up (thankful it wasn’t diarrhea) and toss into the washer and we were good.  I went on to have time with the Lord.  I had a good time of receiving, with Him speaking to some of my fears (this could be its own blog post), and moved into the day.

I heard a groan from the bedroom as I am getting ready in the bathroom.  Benaiah has had a blow out, and Andy is getting a bit overwhelmed.  I enter the bedroom and the thing I see is the smear of poop on the white bedspread.   ARGH!  I just can’t even…

I don’t know about you, but sometimes anger hits so strong, I don’t even have words.  When I finally found the words, I went on about how I JUST cleaned that bedspread, how hard it is to clean because it balls up and I have to untwist it, and how incredibly hard it is to get it on the duvet.  I wanted desperately to be okay with it all and to move past it, but it was like my brain couldn’t.  I am still venting, not too loudly but emphatically.  I pass my daughter sitting in front of the Christmas tree with her stuffed animals and staring at me with slight fear.  Ugh.  I say “Hi” in a completely different tone.  She doesn’t buy it.  I head to the laundry room, curl up, and cry.

I hate that what I do and say could be messing my kids up.  I hate it.  And I take that pressure on my self everyday.  Which makes me an even more tightly-wound and easily-angered person.  It is a bad cycle.

Andy comes and kneels down.  He tells me, it’s ok.  It’s okay to be upset about crap on the bed, twice in one day.  It’s okay.  And that permission helped me.  That and the crying.  It helped release all the pressures.  He assured me that Leli still loves me and doesn’t see me as a horrible person.  I was tempted to doubt everything that he said, but I couldn’t afford to.  I needed to believe it.  The same way that I need to believe what God says when He says I don’t have to be afraid.  He holds my soul.  And maybe you need to believe that today too.

If you needed this today, here is a link to a podcast that was super timely for today:

Don’t Mom Alone podcast- Not Alone in Overwhelm

Marriage, Motherhood

Isn’t It Romantic…

It started with bath time.  It usually does.  My sister bought us a bluetooth speaker, and bathtime has been a musical experience ever since.

Andy started singing “Looks like we made it…Look how far we’ve come, my baby…”  I hear him in the kitchen and start looking it up on Spotify.  A few wrong searches finally gets me to “You’re still the one” by Shania Twain, and it starts up on the speaker.  Continue reading “Isn’t It Romantic…”

Blogging, Friendship

Ain’t Nothing Like the Real Thing

I am in a yo-yo relationship with blogging, and I apologize.  Sometimes I lack inspiration.  Sometimes I don’t have time when I am inspired.  Ninety percent of the time I am in a battle as to whether what I write will matter, offend, or simply waste my time and yours.  So, I did what any typical woman would do ( I think…), I phoned a friend. 😉 Continue reading “Ain’t Nothing Like the Real Thing”


Currently Watching…

Okay.  I am going to just get the disclaimer out of the way.  We try to avoid TV as much as we can…I have a love/hate relationship with it.  I love that it gives me time to clean up, have time alone, get dressed, etc.  I hate that my son is hypnotized by it and that it becomes a babysitter for me.  So, I try to limit it to certain times of day.  However, since my daughter is a virtual sponge, I am also trying to be pretty wise about what she sees during those times.  This is hard to do unless I am right there watching with her- which I do sometimes to talk her through things.  So, I thought I would share some go-to shows that I can trust to help me educate AND entertain my daughter while teaching valuable lessons.  PLEASE SHARE YOURS TOO!  Cuz there are only so many times we can watch something…or so I thought before I had kids. 😛 Continue reading “Currently Watching…”

Homemaking, Motherhood

Cleanliness is NOT Next to Godliness

Yesterday, I had two of my sisters over our house.  It was long overdue, and I was excited.  But there was another thing that was long overdue: the cleaning.  I had been ignoring my floors and bathroom for over a week (eek!), and you could definitely tell.  So, I pretended my daughter was taking a nap as she talked to herself in her crib, put on Breakfast at Tiffany’s (in hindsight, not the ideal choice), and went to it.

I grew up in a house where you clean before company comes over.  Like, intensely clean.  I have backed off a bit since owning my own place, but floors and bathrooms are a must for me.  What I did not take into account this time around was that three kids were about to come over bringing the house total to 5 kids under age 6.   You can only imagine… Continue reading “Cleanliness is NOT Next to Godliness”


Madeline and More

This week, we got a little bored and decided to make twelve little girls in two straight lines, and the smallest one was indeed Madeline.  We took construction paper, markers, scissors, and a glue stick and had an hour’s worth of fun.  Leli helped me glue the girls together (so they stand up on their own), and we named each one.  They walked around, went to bed, and lined up a lot.  I keep them in the Madeline library book we have on loan and am slightly tempted to return it with them inside…just to make a librarian smile. 😉

Continue reading “Madeline and More”


Mom Moments

We all have them, I hope.  Maybe some have them without being a parent…just think of the things that you do when you’re really tired and are operating with only half the normal brainpower.  Things like putting your library card in a debit card machine, wondering where your phone is while talking on it, etc.  Take those moment, multiply their frequency, lower the brainpower a little bit, and add a child to comment on your recent mistake= Voila!  Mom moment.

Continue reading “Mom Moments”


Puff Control

Control is an illusion.  You think you have it and “Poof!”- it vanishes into thin air.  Because it was all just an illusion after all.  Yet, it is the illusion that we all strive after, like kids with butterfly nets who run into each other over and over with our eyes straining after those fluttering, fleeting winged things.  We can’t see each other for the busy-ness, for the striving after control. Continue reading “Puff Control”