I did it. I created the monster. Not that my daughter is a monster, but the crazed obsession with all things princess is becoming a bit much. When she told me she liked Ariel more than me, I knew it had gone too far.
We recently went to Disney, which was a miracle on our budget. We bought no food there except popcorn and ate only the snacks we had packed- which included pb&js from our hotel’s free continental breakfast. We justified the trip as a combination celebration of our 5 year anniversary coming up in May and our daughter’s 4th birthday the week before our trip. And it was worth it.
Seeing my daughter and her cousin light up with the songs, dances, rides, and most of all, the princesses was worth every penny. We were so thankful for the chance to wow them and see all the wonder in their eyes…even if their professed favorite rides were the Carousel of Progress- possibly the oldest, slowest, and most educational ride there- and the actual carousel-which we can ride any day at Opry Mills. Still, we knew it was a special day for all of us.
Fast forward to yesterday. Leli has been listening to some Disney princess audiobooks I had borrowed from the library for our roadtrip. She is playing with little figurines of princesses. She had a princess birthday. She- well, you get the picture. Besides asking God to be a mermaid (she hasn’t seen the movie- just heard an audiobook about a day in Ariel’s life post-fins), she has been a bit…obsessive. To the point that, when I said “I love you more than Ariel”, her response was “I like Ariel more than you.” That was it. Princesses, you had your day.
I went throughout the house-without her knowledge- and removed all princess items: dressup, tiny figures, dolls, etc. All of it went into a box and now reside in the guest room closet.
As I was performing this cleanse, I heard the Lord prodding: ‘Is this about you or about Me?’ Pause. “Lord, I want my daughter not to have any idols. I don’t want her to lose her own creative imagination. I don’t want her to blindly consume what Disney is selling…I have to undo the damage I’ve done!” Pause. ‘Really? Is that what this is about? Or did she hurt your feelings?’ Ouch.
She did indeed hurt my feelings, and I hate that I am so sensitive. Also, the Lord has been convicting ME about my idols. And here I am, imposing a forced idol-removal on her. Ugh.
So, this morning, I asked Him what idols He wanted to remove in my life. I am so thirsty for new life from Him-I can’t really afford for things to hold me back. What is it, Lord? Instagram? I know I have a need for attention and that is a temporary way to meet that need…Tv? We do watch dumb things sometimes to fill the time…
‘Your kids.’ Huh? Please, God- no Abraham and Isaac right now… ‘You want your kids to be perfect and yourself to be perfect. And that is what you are trying to build in front of me. But only I am perfect. You have to trust me with your kids. With yourself.’
Eek. I know He is right deep in my soul. And I am grateful that He cares so much to make me aware and stop me from driving myself crazy with efforts to control and cycles of effort and disappointment. I am truly grateful.
He knows where I am at and He knows where you are too. He prods. He beckons. He loves. So grateful. Hallelujah.