It started with bath time. It usually does. My sister bought us a bluetooth speaker, and bathtime has been a musical experience ever since.
Andy started singing “Looks like we made it…Look how far we’ve come, my baby…” I hear him in the kitchen and start looking it up on Spotify. A few wrong searches finally gets me to “You’re still the one” by Shania Twain, and it starts up on the speaker.
This leads to a loud duet from kitchen to bathroom- me trying to convince Leli to finish her dinner and him cleaning dinner off of Benaiah in the bath.
I suddenly am reminded of a horrible movie we watched called Friends with Kids. Note: I am not recommending the movie. There is a lot of cussing and sexual content…Yep, judge me. I judge myself 🙂 Still, I did get a good message from that movie. There is a point at the end where the main guy- a bit of a turd, really- finally realizes that he is in love with the girl that he has been raising a kid with. When he comes to this realization, he tells her it is because the life stuff—the night feedings, coffee-makings, diaper-changings of everyday life— were the romance. And they created a love deeper than sexual experience on its own.
This struck me like a wave- a refreshing wave. So many movies and things in our culture- memes, gifs, and comments- make it seem like kids kill romance. Or like we will never get enough time away to make the romance happen. I am still totally in favor of that, by the way. Still, I think God created the life stuff to bind us together. It unites us. It helps us appreciate the other person and the weight that they pull to make family happen. And appreciation keeps the love alive. For example, Andy just came in to pull my headset mic out of Benaiah’s mouth. #Teamworkmakesthedreamwork. 😀
I don’t want messages of “I don’t get enough me-time, date-time, sexy-time, etc.” to get into our gears and make us lose that appreciation for life itself. Loving the kids makes my husband more attractive to me, not less. We sing songs, make eyes, and throw dance parties to help keep the love alive, but it takes some intentional brain and heart work to keep the lies out and the love in. Don’t let the enemy’s little lies of “poor you, you are missing out on _______” kill some moments that could actually fuel your marriage, not quench it. FOMO can’t be trusted to make your life better because it still is fear, just with a new face on.
So, I give you permission to enjoy the life stuff rather than grudge it. This life is but a moment. Let’s enjoy it together.
B, over and out.
Oh, P.S. In case you were wondering, our duet turned into me blasting “Titanium” to the cries of my daughter refusing to eat her food. I may have belted out, “I am titanium…” as I reinforced my resolve with visions of her up at 4am complaining about being hungry. That song then moved into a dance party to some Titanic songs with a finally happy 3 year old and a freshly bathed 1 year old held tight and spinning to “Near, far, wherever you are…” This is our current life soundtrack. What’s yours?