I am in a yo-yo relationship with blogging, and I apologize. Sometimes I lack inspiration. Sometimes I don’t have time when I am inspired. Ninety percent of the time I am in a battle as to whether what I write will matter, offend, or simply waste my time and yours. So, I did what any typical woman would do ( I think…), I phoned a friend. 😉
This particular day, I called Kelsey. Poor, sleep-deprived Kelsey. I probably took her nap time, as her kids were napping, but I am so glad that I did (sorry, Kels). After the call, I wondered why I was so glad and…peaceful. First, Kelsey is a great friend and makes me feel really comfortable. She listens well and makes me not feel alone in my lostness when it comes to momming. But really, the big reason for my light heart was this: the voice of a friend does wonders.
I think with all the social media outlets, we think we are maintaining good friendships. We may not feel the full lack of a friend in our lives. I know what my friends’ kids are doing, how they look, and what family vacation they just had. I know what drink or superfood they might be into lately or a meme they may be laughing at currently. I can check our friendship off the list, and checking things off mental lists is like a high in my life. It makes me feel “productive” and “successful”, words that thrill my heart but incidentally starve my soul. I love social media for this. It is quick and convenient, and it IS a form of connection. But I didn’t fully realize til yesterday what I was really lacking.
I know there are people who hate phone calls. I have heard Oprah talk about it ( I am one of those watch-a-random-interview-when-it-crosses-my-newsfeed people): phone calls require so much time when you could text and be convenient. I get it. I am riding in that boat most of the time. However, the right phone call at the right time can be life to your soul! Why is this? What is better than quick and convenient?
Truly, I know that the people following my Facebook don’t really know how I am. I don’t post often enough, and I don’t share my heart often. Honestly, that is not what I think it was designed to be. If you want a real relationship with someone, there is no replacement for taking real time. Quality relationships require quality time. Sorry, there is just no substitute. Social media is a quantity thing- lots of friends and their limited bits of information. Usually I am a quantity over quality person. I love lots of food over fancy stuff. But in my friendships, this has led to a hunger that leaves me wanting. This is partly because various posts start to create a different perception of your friends; you might make assumptions about how they are or how they live and think that you know them. There is nothing to correct this but real connection. This was the case for me, and it was more satisfying than a scroll through my newsfeed.
This all probably makes me sound like a very needy friend. I probably am 😛 In truth, Kelsey and I hadn’t talked in probably six months or more. I have lots of great friends locally too! Those relationships are quality, and I am so grateful. Still, my point is this: if you have a friend you are grateful to have and that you think of with a smile when you see their posts, think of giving them a call! They may be glad to be really known, and you might as well! If not, I often move around while talking, so a lot of cleaning gets done during phone calls. But, you may discover as I did that there ain’t nothing like the real thing when it comes to relationships.