Motherhood

Zoom, zoom, zoom! We’re going to the moon!

The new year has put me in full-on organizing and getting ready for baby brother mode. There’s something about January that triggers decluttering and rearranging. It’s this time of year that my husband starts searching for his belt or hat frantically, because I found a new place to put it away or (worse) donated it.

Preparations for baby boy have included revamping the soon-to-be shared nursery (I’m sure you’ll hear about how room sharing is going in a few months). We chose to decorate L’s room with an outer space theme, and it is by far my favorite room in the house. So, we are keeping the theme, adding a few new decorations, and removing the pink that inevitably snuck its way in. Some of the newer updates have gotten L really excited about learning the names of the planets and other spacey objects. We have always had extensive conversations about the moont, but now we spend 10 minutes before bed identifying Pwuto and Mercurious.

The biggest change this week is the addition of L’s very own big girl bed. I (ever the unnecessary worrier) spent the last few months thinking about how we would introduce her to a new bed and, more importantly, what in the world she would do with free reign in her room every morning and nap time.

By some miracle, our daughter is a boundary-loving, rule-following, always cautious girl-after-my-own-heart. Since she started walking, she has left the sidewalk without holding an adult’s hand exactly twice. I know, I know, I am already mentally preparing myself for the unavoidable whirlwind of a personality that will come with our second child.

Every night and afternoon this week, L has gotten into her bed and not gotten out of it until we come in to the room. We never told her what to do if she woke up. We never gave her any boundaries (beyond closing the door so she can’t get out of the room). L’s room is toddler-proof and ready for independent playtime. If she wanted, she could get up, turn on the light, and play all by herself. Instead, when she wakes up, she lays there singing, reading books, or making up stories, but never even gets out from under her covers.

This got me thinking about the self-imposed boundaries and rules I put on my own life. I often think about my relationship with Jesus as a list of rules or a checklist of things I need to do. If I stay in one spot, look a certain way, and don’t stray from what I think will please Him, things are ok. I can analyze my spiritual life with a quick review of a checklist – Did I go to church? Check! Did I read the Bible? Check! But, if I get up out of my comfortable, known space, what greater blessings would the Lord have for me? Getting past the basics of a spiritual walk and following Christ on a deeper level requires so much more trust. I like rules and boundaries; they make me feel safe, and I always know what to expect. It’s hard to live in the freedom He gives me. Where will God take me? What will He ask me to do?

If I get out of the safety of my bed, I will be able fully rely on Him, and He will take me on the greatest of adventures.

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