Motherhood

That Time Things Didn’t Go as Planned.

I HAD A PLAN. Famous last words of any mom, right?

My husband was away on business for a few days, and I was in full-on survival mode. We needed groceries and this introverted mom needed some time with small people NOT touching me. The perfect solution was Grocery Pickup… the greatest invention since self-cleaning ovens.

With a few clicks, my groceries were purchased and awaiting me at the nearest location that offers this magnificent service… an hour away. Precisely at my children’s bedtime.

It was all so strategic. I would strap my kids snugly into their car seats where they could not touch me (or one another) and drive peacefully into the night. They would drift off into their sweet little dreamlands as I parked, allowed someone else to load my groceries into my van as the bitterly cold wind whipped against their chapped cheeks, and then I would head home – making a 2 mile detour to pick up a precious cup of coffee. I would drive home in the quiet dark, sipping my hot drink and listening to Doctor Radio (a strange fascination of mine that my husband can barely tolerate, so I must enjoy it in his absence).

My plan, of course, failed. The first indication of this was the fact that my kids talked most of the way to the store. The second was when the store employee popped open the back door of my van and said “wow, that is a WIDE AWAKE baby! Such big eyes!”

Of course, the mounds of groceries piled around him in the back reminded my three-year-old that he was hungry. Starving, even. If he did not eat immediately, it was obvious that his blood sugar would plunge and he would fall into a hypoglycemic coma, never to return. His hunger inspired a desperate need for food in the one year old, because naturally their hearts and minds are so interconnected that one cannot have what the other does not. Gleefully (ha) I pulled over to retrieve apples for them from the back.

I got my coffee, which meant the three year old needed a drink, too…. as did the other one… so I had to pull over to distribute sips of water. Finally, we hit the road home. I drove down the dark highway, listening to Dr. Ira wax eloquent about the “bouquet of symptoms that IBS really is”, and realizing with each passing mile that my plan was falling deeper and deeper into a pit of failure. There was no coming back from the screaming fit that was coming from the back seat.

My son was “hungry” (he hadn’t even finished his apple), “fwustwated” (me too, kid), “tired” (no kidding), and “had to go potty”. I drove on, pondering whether or not I was a bad mom since I considered screaming about bathroom needs a victory. We’ve been on the potty training struggle bus for almost a YEAR.

When my dear friend Beracah reached out and asked if Kelsey and I would be interested in starting a blog with her about motherhood, my immediate reaction was “YES!” First off, I am a bit of a serial blogger… I leave in my wake a plethora of abandoned blogs, strewn across the internet like leaves blowing in the wind. I’ve never been able to do it consistently enough to scratch the itch that I have to write. I also love the community that motherhood creates. We are all on one team – Team Sit Down, Eat Your Food, Stop Hitting Your Sister, No You Can’t Have Candy, Yes You Have to Wear a Jacket, Why Did You Poop in Your Pants Again?? The idea of combining the two thrills me – I do not always have wisdom to share like Beracah certainly will, and I’m not full of creative tips and helpful hints like Kelsey is. I do, however, have kids. And the purpose of this blog is to help each other say “me, too!” It is a judgement-free zone… which means you will not judge me if I tell you how many Oreos I ate in my husband’s absence.

So here we go… further up and further in! Who knows where we will go with this little piece of the internet; it will definitely be fun.

1 thought on “That Time Things Didn’t Go as Planned.”

  1. This is so great! And I am so glad to hear you eat Oreos. I love you even more than I thought I did. This sounds exactly like something I would try. Complete with the coffee and podcast. Love you and your babies!

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